First weigh in!

So I weighed in for the first time yesterday and I’m so pleased to say that I have lost 4 ½ pounds! Its amazing to know that my hard work is paying off. Nothing like a good loss to keep you motivated! Actually over all I’m feeling pretty great, my energy levels are up and I feel less like a slob. My skins better and I generally feel good.

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I did my work out today, the full 12 rounds again! I’m noticing a slight difference in my total lack of fitness and complete fatness. Im not silly enough to believe that after 5 sessions I’m suddenly fit, (that would take a fucking miracle) but I’m feeling more confident in my abilities and coordination as the routine becomes more familiar. Today was the first time I didn’t cry! It seems my weird emotional reaction to exercise is ceasing to exist now I’m getting more used to it and I can’t say that I will miss it. At leased now I know the gym is a possibility for me without having to worry that people will notice my emotional breakdown at simple exercises that most of the tanks in there do as a warm up. I made a deal with my friend that when I get to my first target of 11st 7lbs  that I’ll confront my fear of the gym and swimming costumes and sign up to the local gym with her.

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The only problem I’ve had this week ( still unsure if problem is the right word to use as I’m not complaining ) is my total lack of appetite. The food I’ve eaten the last few days has literally been forced in me so I have the strength to work out. I’m just not feeling hungry at all which is virtually unknown to me. I’ve spent the majority of my adulthood hungry and eating huge portions constantly and generally being a pig. To not be hungry even after an hours intense workout is totally bizarre to me. I’m wondering if it has something to do with the exercise? Has anyone else experienced this? I was expecting to be ravenous after each work out but its just not happened. If anything I feel worse for eating. Also I’m struggling with any of my syns, I had none yesterday. It just feels a waste to push my body and mind as hard as I have been to ruin it with something crap. Even if its within my daily allowance of syns it still appears to be marred with guilt. This slimming world experience is totally different  than it was this time a year ago. I didn’t lack motivation originally but I always struggled with my ferocious appetite and found the syn allowance incredibly hard to stick too. This time it seems to be the total opposite, I’m having to remind myself to eat which is a first for me. I’m trying to embrace it and enjoy these new found changes but its all just a bit weird. My relationship with food is probably the most complicated relationship I have.

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Start weight : 13st 7.5lbs
Target weight : 11st 7lbs

Week 1: -4lbs

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